How could you leave me like this?

After all we’ve been through,

After all that shit.

I looked up to you,

Stood up for you,

Looked out for you,

Just so you could go and do what did.

Did you realise what you were doing?

Did you think it through?

Did you realise how many people would mourn for you?

How many you would bring to tears?

How many you had abandoned?

All alone to face their fears.

You were the only thing in the world for them,

The only thing they had,

To forget all the hard times,

The rough and the sad.

And then you left us all,

To cry for you,

Cuz you couldn’t keep on doing the things that you do,

You left a big hole in everyone’s world,

And it fell apart.

Just like all the little pieces,

Of my broken heart.

I didn’t know you as people but I feel like I do

I can close my eyes and know what you were going through

Cuz even now, after all this time

I feel it too.

It feels like you’ll never be able to smile

In a state of grieving so intense

And all the while,

Inside you’re a train wreck, coming off the rails

Nothing to live for, nothing to gain

Nothing to smile for,

Not ever again.

You thought you knew him,

You let yourself care

For the smartest man, with dyed blonde hair.

And then in the smallest second,

It was all gone, he wasn’t there

And you didn’t know how to deal with it

You didn’t know what to do

The one you had followed

Had abandoned you

So in a fit of pain, and hate and love

You wrote your note and picked up the gun

You put on his voice, and while it was in your head

Your finger found the trigger, and then you were dead

So wherever you all are,

If you’re with him and smiling at last

Please know we are so sorry

We’re trying to let go of the past

To move on, with you and him in our hearts

For a day when we’ll no longer be apart

Justice Will Be Done

(some people may find this poem disturbing)

You opened the door.

And there he was.

Writing and sitting cross-legged on the floor.

You spoke his name, and he looked up at you.

He smiled, not knowing what you were about to do.

You grabbed his blonde hair, and pulled him to his feet.

In that moment, your eyes meet.

His, beautifully blue, pleading for mercy.

Yours, cold and dead, like his will be.

But then he struggled, he was not ready to die.

He had a baby daughter, with his stunning eyes.

You started to panic, and then you saw

A needle and heroin on the floor.

You picked it up, filled it from his kit

You extended his arm and then you stabbed it.

Almost instantly, he became faint.

He fell to the floor.

His beautiful eyes weren’t open anymore.

You stood over him, gun in hand

Your finger found the trigger,

And you killed a man.

You dialled the phone.

Told her it was over, that it had been fun.

She laughed cruelly over the line.

Your stomach lurched.

What had you done?

You looked at his body, dead on the floor.

His daughter wasn’t going to see him anymore.

His fans would never again hear him sing.

Because of you and because of her.

Because she wanted something.

You look down at your hands.

And what do you see?

Blood. His blood.

You look again to the body.

You see the man he used to be.

In the April sunshine, your heart grows cold.

You did only what you had been told.

You run your fingers through your hair.

And in that moment, you realise.

That you don’t care.

You don’t mind what you have done.

You take out a handkerchief and you wipe the gun.

Ever so gently, you place it on his chest.

You scrawl at the bottom of the note what sounds best.

And you climb out the window, your job done.

Her “connections” will handle the rest.

Years pass, you see his fans in tears.

She still speaks to you, expressing her fears.

People are starting to figure it out.

And from now on you’ll live in doubt.

You shot that gun.

                           And justice will be done.